First things first, I'd like to explain my blog name. Lona Day is an anagram of my name. My friends call me Yo.
I don't usually have New Year resolutions, but this time, I decided to make a list.
I took a week off for Christmas and New Year. Who knew that it that short week, I'd cried, laughed, loved, and hurt - and now I'm getting up, dusting myself off and trying again.
After a wonderful Christmas with family and friends, I got home to my quiet apartment. I love that about my apartment. It's quiet, peaceful, an oasis of calm after whatever chaos I've had at work, in the crazy KL traffic, or with my dysfunctional yet lovable family. I get to come home, enjoy my own company, and settle down in front of the TV with a gin and tonic or whatever I fancy.
So after opening Christmas presents at my sister's home, I got home and very suddenly started sobbing. It was the contentment of having a good job and an overall good life. But it was also the affection and banter exchanged between couples I'd seen throughout the day (and throughout the years) versus the disconnect between my family and me. I felt like I'd had a good day, a mixed year, a happy heart, but so - for the lack of a better word - sad - that I had no one with whom to share all that was going on.
I'd suddenly felt truly lonely and alone in my oasis of calm and cried myself to sleep, thinking about how I'd have to change my pillowcases the next day because I was crying myself to sleep with my makeup on.
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I woke up, sorted my mascara-stained pillowcases, made myself a coffee and downloaded a dating app called Coffee Meets Bagel. Deleted the useless, vile dating apps like Tinder, Skout and all that shit. I'd seen CMB on Shark Tank and it claimed to be a dating app without the sleaze. I got matched with a guy called Andy. Said Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and he replied. We went on our first date on the 30th December and he was real and my heart felt better.
I was surprised that things had turned around so quickly and so foolish for all the pointless tears. What a wonderful date he was - a gentleman, a conversationalist, a manly man, a good potential boyfriend. We had a great night out. How wonderful life is again, I can't wait to see him again. I'd see him next week, we'd said.
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I got a Happy New Year reply to my message about wishing I was with him for the New Year's kiss. His reply came 2 hours later, on the 1st January at 1.42 am. He wished me prosperity.
Hm.
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I Googled "how often should you text in a new relationship" and one of the articles I'd read said - at the very least one morning and one night message. So I texted him at the end of the 1st Jan at about 10.30pm. Good night, hope you had a great day. Kiss.
It's 3.33pm and I've had no reply.
I may or may not be back to square one, but I can't help but think it might be my weight.
I may feel comfortable in my own skin but can admit it can be an insecurity for me. He may have decided not to go one because of my size. I don't live in a geography with men who want to meet girls for their minds. Or maybe they do, but you can't deny a sexy dress on a sexy body would play on a guy's mind more than a witty conversation. I liked him. I want to be on his mind.
Right now I don't really know if he'll reply at all. I can let him go, but I don't want to. And I don't want this to happen with future dates. I'm going to change my body and feel genuinely good about it and show it damn off.
So I'm going to lose some of myself - and gain a body and mind that I like and love even more than I do now.
I don't usually have New Year resolutions, but this time, I decided to make a list.
I took a week off for Christmas and New Year. Who knew that it that short week, I'd cried, laughed, loved, and hurt - and now I'm getting up, dusting myself off and trying again.
After a wonderful Christmas with family and friends, I got home to my quiet apartment. I love that about my apartment. It's quiet, peaceful, an oasis of calm after whatever chaos I've had at work, in the crazy KL traffic, or with my dysfunctional yet lovable family. I get to come home, enjoy my own company, and settle down in front of the TV with a gin and tonic or whatever I fancy.
So after opening Christmas presents at my sister's home, I got home and very suddenly started sobbing. It was the contentment of having a good job and an overall good life. But it was also the affection and banter exchanged between couples I'd seen throughout the day (and throughout the years) versus the disconnect between my family and me. I felt like I'd had a good day, a mixed year, a happy heart, but so - for the lack of a better word - sad - that I had no one with whom to share all that was going on.
I'd suddenly felt truly lonely and alone in my oasis of calm and cried myself to sleep, thinking about how I'd have to change my pillowcases the next day because I was crying myself to sleep with my makeup on.
------
I woke up, sorted my mascara-stained pillowcases, made myself a coffee and downloaded a dating app called Coffee Meets Bagel. Deleted the useless, vile dating apps like Tinder, Skout and all that shit. I'd seen CMB on Shark Tank and it claimed to be a dating app without the sleaze. I got matched with a guy called Andy. Said Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and he replied. We went on our first date on the 30th December and he was real and my heart felt better.
I was surprised that things had turned around so quickly and so foolish for all the pointless tears. What a wonderful date he was - a gentleman, a conversationalist, a manly man, a good potential boyfriend. We had a great night out. How wonderful life is again, I can't wait to see him again. I'd see him next week, we'd said.
------
I got a Happy New Year reply to my message about wishing I was with him for the New Year's kiss. His reply came 2 hours later, on the 1st January at 1.42 am. He wished me prosperity.
Hm.
------
I Googled "how often should you text in a new relationship" and one of the articles I'd read said - at the very least one morning and one night message. So I texted him at the end of the 1st Jan at about 10.30pm. Good night, hope you had a great day. Kiss.
It's 3.33pm and I've had no reply.
I may or may not be back to square one, but I can't help but think it might be my weight.
I may feel comfortable in my own skin but can admit it can be an insecurity for me. He may have decided not to go one because of my size. I don't live in a geography with men who want to meet girls for their minds. Or maybe they do, but you can't deny a sexy dress on a sexy body would play on a guy's mind more than a witty conversation. I liked him. I want to be on his mind.
Right now I don't really know if he'll reply at all. I can let him go, but I don't want to. And I don't want this to happen with future dates. I'm going to change my body and feel genuinely good about it and show it damn off.
So I'm going to lose some of myself - and gain a body and mind that I like and love even more than I do now.
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